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Yes, it's the moment we've (or at least I've) all been waiting for, all about ME!
 | At long, long last, whether you wanted it or not, THE PHOTO OF ME HAS ARRIVED!!! For those who are interested in this sort of thing, this photo was taken at my old house. I'd made a pie in cookery and wanted to show it off. Here is a cut down and re-orientated picture of me from that photo (if you look in the bottom left-hand corner, you can just see a skew-wiff electrical socket. In the original photo, it was straight. I was the skew-wiff one, due to me leaning over the pie). |
| Full Name | Paul Robert Varley |
|---|---|
| Nicknames | PRV, Volleyball (Paul Varley - VarleyPaul - Volleyball, geddit?), Tips (PV Tips, in full), Paolo (for my overestimated [by them, not me] football skills), Bob Varley (after the Jamaican Reggae singer [dunno why] and because my middle name's Robert), Varleynator (don't ask) and Neville (don't ask) |
| Date of Birth | 19 April 1985 (work out my age from there!) |
| Nationality | British (and - I suppose - proud of it. Where else in the world can weather be such an incredible topic of interest?) |
| Place of Birth | London, England - but I consider Manchester, England to be my spiritual home (except in the cases of QPR and Middlesex - see below) |
| Place Living In Now | Swansea, Wales - that "ugly, lovely town" (or "pretty sh+tty city") which appears to be the Son of Manchester (high car crime, lots of rain, cultural capital of region... what more comparison do you need?) |
| Favourite Number | Four (4) |
| Favourite Colour | Purple |
| Favourite Letter of the alphabet | U |
| Favourite Animal | Hamster |
| Favourite Football Teams (Soccer to Americans) | 1st - Queens Park Rangers, London (Div. 2) 2nd - Manchester City, Manchester (Div. 1) 3rd - Leeds United, Leeds (Prem.) 4th - Stockport County, Stockport (Div. 1) 5th - Swansea City, Swansea (Div. 3) 6th - Liverpool, Liverpool (Prem.) |
| Least Favourite Football Team | Manchester United, Manchester (Prem.) |
| Favourite Cricket Team | Middlesex, S.E. England, although I also like Lancashire, Yorkshire and Glamorgan |
| Family | I'm an only child. My Mum is called Shelagh and my Dad is called Michael. My maternal grandparents (Ethel and Albert) live in Manchester, and my paternal grandparents (Ann and Peter [step-grandfather]) live in Leeds. |
| Pets | A syrian hamster called Sparky, and some goldfish in a pond. |
| Height | About 6 foot |
| Weight | About 15 stone |
| Hair | A dark-browney-blackish "short back and sides". If you think that's indistinct, look at the next thing... |
| Eyes | Erm... Greeny-bluey-grey, with a brown rim around the pupils... I'm short-sighted, so I have to wear glasses if I want to see things at a distance (e.g. road-signs, television, shops, golf courses), although I don't need them for things like reading and the computer. |
| Friends | I have a large number of these, varying from best friendship through chums and aquaintances down to people I merely know and don't actively hate. They include Gareth Owen, Stephen Davies, Daniel Byrne, Amy Griffiths, Richard Owen, Stephen Grey, Ben Comley, Matthew Kirby, Daniel Sanders, Michael Williams, Joanna Webber, Andrew Jones, Philip Harris, James Layzell, Stephen Crane, Rhys Wathen, Tim Lewis, Phillip Thomas, Jamie Slee, Phillip Ryder, Ben Collins, Lee Ballinger, Jonathan and Richard Lewis, David Lang, Steven Jones, Adrian Potter... I could go on and on, but I think that's enough for now. |
| Political Orientation | Socialist with a "wishy-washy" liberal streak, although I belong to the school of thought that overthrow by force never does any good (it leaves forceful types in charge, who then become tyrants - "the scum floats to the top") |
| Hobbies | Playing computer games, reading, railway engines, railway modelling, maths, science, writing stories on the computer, listening to comedy programmes on the radio and on tapes (e.g. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, The Navy Lark, Round the Horne, The News Quiz), computer programming, telling jokes (I like to use my Physics teacher, Mr. Heal, as a sounding board for them), supporting England/Britain at sport (any sport - we've got to be good at something!) and saying "Fascinating Facts" (as my Dad calls them). |
| Pet Hates | Smoking, slimming, supermodels, fox hunting, litter-louts, positive discriminators1, i-macs and Margaret Thatcher2 |
| Programming Languages | I'm pretty good at HTML, QBasic and JavaScript. I'm trying my best to learn C++, but it's hard going. |
| Ambitions | Going down the mathsy, sciency route. As for an actual job, well that could range anywhere from astronaut through maths professor to "popular science" writer (perhaps I could do for Maths what Simon Schama did for history?) |
| Thing I dislike most about myself | A poor memory for non-academic things. I'm good at all the "fascinating facts" stuff that never crops up in real life, but ask me remember the say something to someone else, and four times from five I'll forget it. |
| Thing I dislike most about others | An inability to laugh at themselves. If we could all self-depreciate a bit more, I'm sure we'd all get on a little better. |
| Single thing that would improve the quality of my life | A better memory for non-academic things. See above. |
| Favourite sayings | "It's what's on the inside that counts." "There is a solution to every problem" |
2: For those who don't know, Margaret Thatcher was Britain's P.M. from 1979 to 1990 and the Fifth Horsewoman or the Apocalypse (Death, War, Famine, Pestilence and Extreme Right-Wing Capitalism). The only way she could get further right-wing would be to become a dictator. She took British politics so far to the right Labour got dragged with her - hence Britain's current state of political turmoil.